| 100% | HEDBERG | 7 | Comedian Mitch who said "I haven't slept for 10 days, because that would be too long" |
| 32% | AHAB | 4 | Fictional character who says "I now prophesy that I will dismember my dismemberer" |
| 30% | EMO | 3 | Comedian Philips who said, "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing" |
| 29% | OBAMA | 5 | Who said "Issues are never simple. One thing I'm proud of is that very rarely will you hear me simplify the issues" |
| 29% | AHAB | 4 | Literary captain who says, "I know not all that may be coming, but be it what it will, I'll go to it laughing" |
| 28% | MUHAMMADALI | 11 | Who said "My only fault is that I don't realize how great I really am" |
| 28% | SAHL | 4 | Satirist who said "If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job" |
| 28% | SAHL | 4 | Political satirist who said "If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job" |
| 28% | EDISON | 6 | Inventor who said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work" |
| 27% | RBG | 3 | Initials of the person who said "Fight for the things that you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you" |
| 27% | RSVP | 4 | Say "Yes, I will attend," for example: Abbr. |
| 27% | FAVOR | 5 | Someone who says "Do me a solid!" is asking for one |
| 26% | JOANRIVERS | 10 | Who said "I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage" |
| 26% | ICANT | 5 | "Sorry, that day is no good for me" |
| 26% | YERTLE | 6 | Kid-lit title character who says "I am the ruler of all that I see!" |
| 26% | SEER | 4 | Whom you might ask "Where will I be in 10 years?" |
| 26% | DALI | 4 | Who said "The only difference between me and the Surrealists is that I am a Surrealist" |
| 26% | FRODO | 5 | Fictional character who says "I will take the ring, though I do not know the way" |
| 26% | MAEWEST | 7 | She famously said "I'm single because I was born that way" |
| 26% | CHELSEAHANDLER | 14 | Comedian who wrote the memoir “Life Will Be the Death of Me” |
| 25% | SYKES | 5 | Eric —, comedian-writer who authored 2005 volume of biography If I Don't Write It, Nobody Else Will |
| 25% | ERIC | 4 | & 8A Comedian-writer who authored 2005 volume of biography If I Don't Write It, Nobody Else Will |
| 25% | PAPADOC | 7 | Nickname of the dictator who said "I know the Haitian people because I am the Haitian people" |
| 25% | PROS | 4 | Those who are no longer amateurs, for short |
| 25% | HALE | 4 | Nathan who said "I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country" |
| 25% | POOH | 4 | Kids' character who says "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day" |
| 25% | MORRISON | 8 | Nobel laureate who said "If I tried to write a universal novel it would be water" |
| 25% | DANQUAYLE | 9 | Veep who said "We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur" |
| 25% | MAE | 3 | West who said, "Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution" |