| 100% | LOUISCK | 7 | Comic who said "I open my eyes, remember who I am, what I'm like, and I just go 'Ugh'" |
| 39% | PRYOR | 5 | Comic who said "I'm not addicted to cocaine. I just like the way it smells" |
| 38% | LOUISCK | 7 | Comedian who said "Every day starts, my eyes open and I reload the program of misery" |
| 35% | RALPH | 5 | Kid on "The Simpsons" who said, "This is my sandbox. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end" |
| 35% | WEATHERLY | 9 | "Bull" star Michael who says "My kids and my marriage are the things I'm proudest of" |
| 34% | BERRA | 5 | Athlete who said "I looked like this when I was young, and I still do" |
| 34% | HAL | 3 | Computer who says "Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it." |
| 33% | EMINEM | 6 | "My name sounds like candy, and I'm a famous rapper. Who am I?" |
| 33% | HAL | 3 | Film character who says menacingly "I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do" |
| 32% | LOUISCK | 7 | Comic who said "The meal is not over when I'm full. The meal is over when I hate myself" |
| 31% | AHAB | 4 | Literary captain who says, "I know not all that may be coming, but be it what it will, I'll go to it laughing" |
| 31% | GROUCHO | 7 | He said, "Those are my principles, and if you don't like them ... well, I have others" |
| 31% | MEL | 3 | Brooks who wrote, “If I cut my finger, that’s tragedy. Comedy is if you walk into an open sewer and die” |
| 30% | ELLENDEGENERES | 14 | Who said "I like my men like I like my coffee. I don't drink coffee" |
| 30% | DONDRAPER | 9 | TV character who said "What you call 'love' was invented by guys like me to sell nylons" |
| 30% | LIVER | 5 | "I'm a detoxifying organ and my name rhymes with "river". Who am I?" |
| 30% | IAGO | 4 | Villain who says "I am not what I am" |
| 29% | ARDEN | 5 | Who said "There's only one Elizabeth like me, and that's the queen" |
| 29% | ADAMRIPPON | 10 | Openly gay US Olympic figure skater who said, "I'm representing my country whether they like me or not": 2 wds. |
| 29% | IAGO | 4 | Shakespearean character who says "I am not what I am" |
| 29% | ELIOT | 5 | Poet who wrote, “Let us go then, you and I, / When the evening is spread out against the sky / Like a patient etherized upon a table” |
| 29% | EYRE | 4 | Fictional Jane who said "I am no bird; and no net ensnares me" |
| 29% | NEO | 3 | "The Matrix" hero who said, "I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my life" |
| 29% | CHAPLIN | 7 | Who said "All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl" |
| 29% | LANATURNER | 10 | Actress who said, “Forsaking glamour is like forsaking my identity” |
| 29% | LANA | 4 | Turner who said "Forsaking glamour is like forsaking my identity" |
| 28% | AVENGE | 6 | "When I am dead and gone, remember to ___ me ...": "Henry VI, Part I" |
| 28% | LIED | 4 | Said "It's just what I wanted" after opening a terrible gift, say |
| 28% | JAMES | 5 | My code number is 007 and I like my martini shaken not stirred |
| 28% | AHAB | 4 | Fictional character who says "I now prophesy that I will dismember my dismemberer" |